The Varnishing Days is the heart-stopping, glasses-dropping, hard-rocking, wig-shaking, levothyroxine-taking, knee-knocking, boot-licking, justifying, teeth rattling, digressing new show from stand up comedian to the stars John Kearns. 

Go silent as I walk on! Acknowledge when something funny happens! Leave discussing dinner plans! Others will be implicated. Points will be circled and missed. Hell, it’s a man trying his best! When I visit your town dogs will start barking, as will clergy. Your microwave will go haywire. The lights in your vestibule will flicker and the Bank of England will nervously look at interest rates. On the day I write this, the pound has hit an all time low against the dollar. Mark my words. This show will break that record again and again and again.

“Kearns could be your new King of Comedy” Bruce Dessau, Evening Standard

“the best showcase for his greatness yet… Kearns is as original and beguiling as any comedian in Britain.” Dominic Maxwell, The Times ★★★★ “a toothy, tragicomic delight… cult purveyor of mock-heroic suburban standup.” Brian Logan, The Guardian ★★★★ “There is something quite magical about the world John Kearns creates… exquisite to watch.” Alice Jones, The i ★★★★ “Kearns' poised, poetic stream of consciousness is the whirring logic of a very funny man with a profound understanding of the human condition.” Jay Richardson, The Scotsman ★★★★ “damn funny… An hour of this unique act, exquisite but robust, is more rewarding than any arena stand-up” Steve Bennett, Chortle ★★★★ ½ Bruce Dessau, Evening Standard ★★★★★ | Dominic Maxwell, The Times ★★★★ | Brian Logan, The Guardian ★★★★ | Mark Monahan, The Telegraph ★★★★ | John Nicholson, The Mirror ★★★★★ | Alice Jones, The i ★★★★ | Sharon Lougher, Metro ★★★★ | Ben Williams, Time Out ★★★★ | Steve Bennett, Chortle ★★★★★ | Veronica Lee, The Arts Desk ★★★★ | Jay Richardson, The Scotsman ★★★★ | Rebecca Cross, Sydney Morning Herald ★★★★

Wednesday 22nd March 2023 - 20:00 (100min with interval) - MB1

Tuesday 30th May 2023 - 20:00 (100min with interval) - MB3  (EXTRA SHOW!!!)

£14.00

Venue Doors and Bar open up to one hour before show starts - Unreserved Seating - No standing

Please contact us at boxoffice@monkeybarrelcomedy.com for alternative group size arrangements or group bookings of 7 or more. See Terms and Conditions for more information.

Monkey Barrel Comedy

The "Beating Heart" of the Fringe. The Telegraph

“The Monkey Barrel is amazing. They’re so caring and supportive. They’re not just all talk.” Sam Campbell

"Monkey Barrel’s stock is high" The Scotsman

"The Best Comedy Club in the World" Olga Koch

"Fringe Heroes" The Metro

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